Goals, Not Resolutions: 5 Steps to Reach Your Dreams

Do you always seem to come short of your new year’s resolutions? Me too. And I’m going to turn mine into goals I can achieve.

PLEASE NOTE: Things are about to get really real here really quick. I don’t sugarcoat life. It’s what makes me, me.

2016 has been a heck of a mixed bag.

I was dealing with a pretty nasty break up at the beginning of this year. The relationship was a total mess. When your last date finishes with you screaming and crying your eyes out in a parking lot because of the pain, chances are things aren’t going to last much longer.

I had one of my worst birthdays to date. A series of events led me to crying for a good portion of my birthday morning.

I had to let go of not one, but two very close friends to me. One was my choice, the other was the other person’s choice. Both were people I didn’t want to let go of, but I think I will be able to grow from this.

I hit some of my lowest lows.

I cried more than I am willing to admit, even as I have admitted to crying on several different occasions here.

But even still, things weren’t completely awful. I think of where I was at this time last year. Some things were the same. But I feel like I am a stronger person because of all of this. I have learned about patience, empathy, and inner strength.

And most notably, I started my blog last month!

The blog has also been a mixed bag. It’s been a lot of work. Lots of writing, cooking, picture taking, trying new things, and drawing the fine line between social media for business and personal use. It’s been fun fighting the urge to just mosey around social media with no endgame in mind.

Each year, I seem to set some resolutions for myself. Not a 100% sure why I do this to myself, but I set resolutions.

And I think I can speak for a lot of people by saying, I hate resolutions.

I hate it when people ask me what mine are. I’m certainly not a fan of trying to create some for myself.

So I have thought of a new plan. One that by the end of all of this, I don’t hate myself.


Did you know that 75 percent of all gym memberships are taken out in the month of January? (source) These are all of the well-meaning people trying to make their resolutions to “lose weight” or to lose a certain amount of weight in a time frame. We have all heard our one gym rat friend saying something about how everything is crowded at the gym now, but things will thin out soon.

It always happens.

As a side note, if gyms don’t work for you, don’t go to the gym. It’s just as easy (and much less expensive) to pick out a workout regimen on the Internet.

And I bet you, those people are just as frustrated with themselves as I become. So, for my last post of the year, I’m planning on doing a few things differently this coming year.

Start now.

New year’s resolutions are our way of procrastinating the change we want to see in ourselves.

We use the year as a marker to change, but someone told me that we might not have tomorrow, let alone next year. So really, what is stopping you from the goal you want to achieve??

There is a Chinese proverb that I live by that says “the best time to plant a tree was 10 years ago. The second best time is now.” I probably botched it up, but you get what I’m saying! Starting a long time ago was the best time to do the things you wanted. You could have had so much more experience.

But the past is in the past, and you’ve got to work with what you have right now.

One of the things that I want to set as a goal is to get organized, in my time and in my living space. What I have started already is writing a to-do list on a small legal pad. Whenever I am sitting around doing nothing, the to-do list is there to tell me what needs to get done.

Next year, I’m going to get myself a fancy planner so that my time can get mapped out. I’m gonna start “penciling in” certain things. I’m already pumped about it.

Do you want to lose weight? Be careful with the leftover Christmas cookies and eggnog now, not later! (but if you aren’t watching your weight and you do like eggnog you should totally try my eggnog latte recipe here :-))

Figure out what you want to do in the next year. And start doing it now.

Change your wording.

So we have already changed our vernacular from “resolutions” to “goals.” We have already relaxed things a bit. We want to get stuff done, right? I don’t want to put too much stress on these goals. I want to do everything in my power to achieve them, but I don’t want to beat myself up if I don’t.

Change the way you word the goals you want to achieve. You could say that you want to go to the gym more or you want to lose weight. 

What I have said instead is that I want to get moving. Doing a lot of typing and computer work, I live a fairly sedentary life. If I start doing more activity and gain some muscle, I have a secondary product from my goal!

If I put unnecessary pressure on myself to lose a certain amount or go to the gym and I do not reach it, I am going to disappoint myself every single time. I just want to be healthy, kids.

Don’t put so much pressure on yourself.

Strangely enough, this goes right into changing your wording! Funny how that works… 🙂

So, as I told you before, I had to let go of two different friends this year. It sucks a lot, and it hurts. But sometimes, things have to be done so you can move on to different and possibly better things.

My goal? Be more social.

Being what I call an extroverted introvert, half of me is excited about this prospect and the other half of me is not so thrilled.

The funny thing is, that much like finding your soulmate/marriage partner/spouse, you can’t force it. But you aren’t going to find anyone sitting on the couch watching Netflix and eating cheese balls.

Some efforts must be made! But if you try and things don’t work, don’t beat yourself up because of it. I have gone to many social outings and nothing became of it, and that’s okay. I keep trying. 

Embrace the hustle.

So maybe you have ignored what I have said so far. You’re keeping your resolutions. You are unwavering in your determination and there is something that you have already sworn you are going to do. Maybe you have given yourself the resolution to write every day. And that is a hefty goal. (Sorry, the diet and weight loss thing felt like I was beating a dead horse.)

Okay, you do you.

But if this is what you choose to do, you must embrace the hustle more than others will. Or, in other words, you’ve got a lot of hard work ahead of you.

There’s a lot of hard work ahead for those who set goals as well. 

My goal for this year is get this blog up and running to its fullest potential. My dream is to be able to do this full time, and it’s not something I take lightly.

So every free minute I have (or so it seems), time has been going to my blog. My first priority is to get the best content out as I can give you, first and foremost. I’ve been writing like crazy.

But this blog work ain’t easy sometimes. It can come with a lot of kicking and screaming. But I have learned that if I want to succeed, there is a lot of work to be done.

If you are serious about doing something, you will find the time and energy to do it. 

Surround yourself with people who support and encourage you.

This is probably the most important step of them all. If you ignore every piece of advice I have given up to this moment but decide to listen to this, I could be okay with that. 

If you want to spend less money on trifles and frivolities (a.k.a. stuff you don’t need!) don’t go shopping with your spendthrift friends. Go with me, or someone like me. I am going to shoot you straight and tell you that you don’t need that shirt. You have one just like it at home! And in the same color! :- )

When I told my mom I wanted to make this blog and that this is what I want to do, she got behind me. She has probably been one of my biggest, if not my biggest cheerleader to date.

She and my dad too have been my biggest support system and they have made it possible for me to do what I love.

You can find these people too! It might be your family, friends, or one of those rando websites that pay you for keeping on your goals.

In the end, make goals that are not only going to make you happy but make you a better person. Last year might not have been the best year. But we can work together to make this year the best one yet.

What are your goals? Let me know in the comments below!



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  1. I absolutely love your perspective – and I totally agree! If only more people could realize this so that less goals go uncompleted

    1. I would say so… I think the end goal is to not push yourself to the extreme. Live a little, y’know? 🙂

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